I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
