Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
