do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
