it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
