U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
