Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
