I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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