Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
