Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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