I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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