No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ugly people sure do ruin things
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
