I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
