Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
