i may or may not be watching the land before time
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
