Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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