you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
