Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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