I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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