i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize