did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
