can u get pink eye on your cock?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
