apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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