@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
