You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
