also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
