yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
