Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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