belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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