Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize