Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
