When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
