your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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