I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize