Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
