Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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