Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
