Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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