Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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