I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
