i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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