I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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