Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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