He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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