Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
