OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
