they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She told me I should be a condom model.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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