then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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