Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
