How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
