that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I looked at my own cervix.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
