THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
