My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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