i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
