I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
