Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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