You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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