Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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