4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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