oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
