Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
