apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
