You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
