I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
