Sponge bath it is.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
