She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
