we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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